im going public again alright.. i realised it doesn't make much of a difference.. cos if it's private.. it's really at the other blog.. so it doesn't matter what i put up here

my room is splattered... literally SPLATTERED with books notes all around... in an organised manner.. i have a mountain pile of notes and books for each subj nicely stacked together and another cupboard of books.. my table is messy though with the different worksheets..

even though im trying to convince myself im studying hard... i dont think so though
im going the smart way this time.. it's quite amazing how im not intimidated by my so hardworking friends ard me who are likee brr 10000000millions time more hardworking than me.. and how they take one hour to finish one topic whilst i take like 5 hours..=P
i realised things dont simply work out by studying hard.. you need brains and strategy too...

my chinese teacher gave us an indirect pep talk which was inspiring.. my class consists of girls from RG, TKGs, NANYANG, and boys from VS...
interstingly.. when he asked do you think you can score 10 A1s if you want to..
only me and the RG girl said we cld..
im not stereotyping.. but i find it simply stupid to say... i want to score 10 A1s but i think i cannot do it...
if you say you might not achieve it even though you want it..
it's prolly becos it's you dont want it badly enough isn't it?

im not driven by good results.. im not driven by expectations
im driven by F-E-A-R..
the fear of failing like last yr... which is prolly the worst exp in my life.. i face the prospect of failing maths this time if you choose to believe or not..
IN A DECREASING ORDER OF THE PERCENTAGE OF ME FAILING FOR THE VARIOUS SUBJ
1) LA 99.999999999%
2) MATHS 98.8888888%
3) SS AND CHEM 90%
4) PHY AND BIO 50%
5) CHINESE 49%

im just being honest with myself... nevertheless im looking forward to papers.. and so gna study maths now cos my maths is seriously sux a hell damn big time.... and so am i convinced any amt of hard work i put in for LA wont show in my results..
im feel like a chicken waiting to be slaughtered...